Bartending School!

A famous quote you may recognize that has been stuck in my head since I started batending school, well that and the "Last Barmen" poem, is "Why didn't you tell me a Cuba Libre was a rum and coke!?" Tom Cruise yells this at a waitress while being swamped with orders... you've seen the movie... and if you haven't then you are a communist.

Anyway, that has pretty much been my experience in bartending school... you want me to make a "Cape Cod," ok... WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY IT WAS VODKA AND CRANBERRY!!!! (with a lime garnish) It is a lot of fun but tons of memorization. AND acronyms! AND rules! Especially when making martinis!

Wanna know how to make a Cosmopolitan? Well just remember that it is a "Very Tasting Cocktail." Vodka, Triple Sec and Cranberry! See what I did there!? See!?! Well my head is on drink recipe overload and I need a new liver to be able to practice all the drinks I've been making but like I said it is fun and apparently very lucrative.

I may do this on the side. A bartender who is one of my instructors said that depending on where you work you can pull in $500 a night. The main secret is to be a flirt... hmm I think I may be able to do that... or I'll just tell them every dumb joke I know and they'll pay me to shut up.

So conclusion...

1. You need a good memory to be a bartender.

2. You need a to be a flirt.

3. You need a strong liver.

4. I may have found a way to pay off my student loans super quick.

BARTENDING HOW TO: (Well this time a couple of drink recipes that my instructors taught me)

A CU-OSMO
3/4 oz. Amaretto
3/4 oz. Southern Comfort or Tuaca
Dash of Contreau
Squeeze of lime
Cranberry juice
~Shake it up in a shaker and serve in a chilled stemmed glass~

A Better COSMO
1/2 oz. Citrus SKY Vodka
1/2 oz. Grand Marinier
1/8 oz. Lime juice
Splash of Cranberry juice
~Shake it up in a shaker and serve in a chilled stemmed glass~

Dreamsickle (in a highball glass filled with ice)
1 oz. Amaretto
1 oz. Orange Juice
Fill with Half N Half

Easy Bloody Mary
1 oz. Vodka
2 dashes of salt
2 dashes of pepper
2 dashes of celery salt
4 drops Worcestershire
1 - 2 drops Tabasco
Fill with Tomato juice (to make it a 'Ceasar' use Clamato)

Cape Cod
FREAKING VODKA AND CRANBERRY JUICE!!! (with a lime garnish)

MINI POST: Artist Mad or Thoughts spawned by cultural and chocolate overload.

I KNOW WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME! Well not that it's wrong, I just found the perfect explanation for my ... quirkiness. AND it only took *mumble* years, and a hectic week and drink memorization craziness and weekend of plays and a chocolate cake overload to realize it. 

My week was spent behind the bar at bartending school when I really wanted (no NEEDED) some time in front of it. So a weekend of new plays was a perfect escape. The first play I saw was about a relationship between two artists, one a dancer and one a painter who is trying to capture him on canvas. This really was a good play and it was also the one that gave me my "ah-ha'" moment. The dancer, Nureyev, said something to the painter like "How is Wyeth like Nureyev?... we are both artist mad," which made me think. Why do I do the things I do and gravitate towards the people I do well... "artist mad."

Let's have a Forrest Gump moment... Do you remember the first picture you ever drew?  Probably not, I know I don't. There was always creativity in my house growing up so it's hard to pinpoint where my madness came from, probably my mom. But oddly enough, I do remember the first drawing that got someone else's attention that was not a family member. It was a drawing of a lion. I drew it when I was in the first grade on a really boring day. I had broken my leg and so couldn't go out to recess therefore I stayed in and noticed a cartoon of a lion on the wall and drew it. I just remember thinking "I'm gonna draw that for my teacher" and so I did. After getting it perfect several tries later, I finally gave it to her. I remember that she acted like it was the best thing ever... the best drawing since Da Vinci picked up a pencil. I don't know what this has to do with being artist mad... maybe because it was the first time I really wanted to get something perfect or the fact that my drawing made her smile. Whatever it was... it was and is addicting. 

So I am "artist mad," and I am not referring to just painting or drawing or sculpting or writing... but the creative gremlin that makes you do all these things. It makes you want to express yourself, to let people see you through your works and to hopefully leave something lasting behind.








So conclusion...
1. Artist madness is a great disease.

2. I'm lucky to know and work with many other artist madmen and women.

3. Our madness is what probably binds us... I feel like the actresses and actors and writers and creative people I've been privileged to work with are more than co-workers... they are family and to use a corny tag line... kindred spirits. 

4. Artist Madness also probably explains the reason behind my blog too.

#SMDay... money for nothing and your clicks for free!

FIRST BACKGROUND... What is #SMDay?

Social Media Day is an event started by Mashable to celebrate all things Social Media. It’s a chance for  social media enthusiasts and social media “professionals” to network and get together to swap notes  by hosting or attending Social Media Day meetups around the country.

Last week I attended an #SMDay event at the Ritz Carlton... free event, free seminars, free valet, free swag bags, so why not! It was fun. I got free stuff and met a lot of interesting people. Who knew there were so many social media sillies in the Phoenix area.... and they get paid for it too! Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Pinterest, Instagram, etc. Who would have thought there would be such a large social niche and that I would've stumbled into it.

I found myself becoming a social cyber butterfly (I guess you'd call me a caterpillar back then) at my last job. I worked for a writer who wrote for all kinds of publications including FSB and CNNMoney. It was fun and a big time learning experience. Twitter was a new animal and FB was just for college kids, ah the good old days. Anyway, that is where I first got my feet wet and now am a cyber social butterfly at a non-profit, though they insist on calling me a E-Communications Associate... whatever.

Though it doesn't seem like it, there is a formula to it all. If you know it and use it, even part-time, you can gain a following online that will surprise you. The main secret behind Social Media is interaction. This is a big "DUH" to most people but a lot of companies still don't get it and then they hire someone like me.☺ What people crave is a connection, whether to loved ones or their favorite band, it is all about connection and interaction. If you can figure out how to give people this well then ... "yours is the Earth and everything that is in it, and - which is more - you'll be a man, my son." And you'll have a really high Klout score.

(BTW, that verse is from the poem "If" by Rudyard Kipling that I had to memorize in high school, I'm proud that I still remember it! Well I remember some of it.)

So conclusion...

1. Media is noise.

2. Social Media is a chance to join the noise and make your own mini-headlines and news.

3. It's all about interaction.

SOCIAL MEDIA HOW TO:

How do you use social media for business? (well at least what I learned... in 5 steps)

1. There are some rules about posting that are unspoken but known among businesses... post often but not too often on company pages. No one likes you to fill their feed.

2. How many posts a day: Twitter - 5 times a day... no more than 7. Facebook - 3 times a day... no more than 5 times a day.

3. Be BRIEF!

4. INTERACT!

5. BIG TIP ALERT: Think of your company... break down what you do into 4 categories. For example: What is WhyNots about? - 1. Enjoying life, 2. New experiences, 3. Learning new things, 4. Not taking things too seriously.... nice. Well there are 4 weeks in a month and now you have 4 topics to explore each month on Social Media, so each week will have a main theme to help you organize your posts better (this is a great start for people new to Social Media craziness). Fun huh?

There are other tips but that's why I get the big bucks.... I can't tell you all my secrets! ☺

WHERE WAS I?
#SMDay @ The Ritz Carlton
... can't wait til next year for networking fun and the great burgers at the Ritz were an awesome bonus!

Flashback Night Out

So last night I had a retro flashback night and it was awesome or ...er... far out! The night started with some roller skating at a roller rink while listening to Micheal Jackson songs (it was the anniversary of his death). It really was a flashback experience because it made me think of my childhood and my next door neighbors' grandsons.

Growing up I had two visiting playmates every summer. ☺ I lived next to an older couple whose grandsons would come to visit every summer for as long as I could remember. I remember after school would end I'd constantly ask Mrs. Thomason when her grandsons were coming. "Now? Tomorrow? Next week? When?" The anticipation would kill me because sometimes they wouldn't come until the end of summer. But when finally came for their visit... we would swim, have water fights, watch movies, play games, play basketball and most of all SKATE! We would skate in their grandparents' drive way, it was absolutely made for skating. We would mostly race or play hockey on roller skates but one time I convinced them, somehow, to do some synchronized skating. It was just us making up moves and acting like ballet fools on skates, but it was fun. That's what I liked best about them, they were ready to try anything. So while skating I was remembering them, my boys of summer.

After skating and feeling very pleased with myself for remembering how, and not falling on my face, I headed out to meet a friend for some DODGEBALL! Now that was really fun. I had forgotten most of the rules because I hadn't played for a very long time. It was not played very much at my school, actually I think it was banned because kids would get hurt and cry. Come to think of it, they also made us stop playing Red Rover for the same reasons.

Anyway, the whistle blew and we started playing. I had no idea what I was doing! I just wiggled at first and tried not to get hit for the first few games until I got into the groove and found out the rules. Then it was... GAME ON! I was ducking, moving, throwing and catching! When you catch the ball, the person who threw it at you is out and one of your teammates who was out comes back in. Someone said to me "you're a catcher!" I just smirked and said "yeah," all the while thinking "yeah, I have brothers."

Who knew that the torture I endured from them while growing up would have made me be so athletic and have really great reflexes. They thought it was just the funnest thing to throw tennis and racket balls at me ALL DAY LONG. It got so crazy that I would be watching TV and be able to catch the balls that they were throwing at me without taking my eyes off of what I was watching. Of course this became their very favorite past time after they saw that I could do this. The "look how Jen catches the ball without looking," or "let's see if we can make her miss," were games they played "with" me... a lot.

So conclusion...

1. Boys are fun.

2. Brothers are really fun.

3. Childhood games are really really fun, even when you are just a little bit bigger and older.

DODGEBALL HOW TO:

How do you play Dodgeball for those like me forgot? (well at least what I learned... in 5 steps)

1. Throw the ball LOW at people to make them leave the game once they are hit... because getting hit in the face is not fun.

2. If you catch the ball the person who threw it at you is out and a person from your team can come back into the game.

3. You are only out if the ball hits you before it hits the ground or if someone catches a ball you've thrown. Ricochets off the floor or wall do not count even though it may hurt if say... it hits you in the face.

4. In coed, the girls can get closer to the other team to throw at them while the guys can only go midway to throw. Girls are important to a team because depending on how many girls you have on a team playing determines how many men can also play.

5. Don't throw wrenches.

WHERE WAS I?
Skateland Mesa
... retro rink that I will be visiting again.

&

National Dodgeball Organization
... in a word... YES!

Tipsy painting, sushi making and epiphanies... oh my!

Tipsy painting...
So background for those who don't know... I love being artsy and have been artsy all my life. As I was growing up people always thought that I would become an artist. I received the "Art" award all through grade school, blue ribbons, first prizes in competitions... all that baloney and I also took art all through high school and college and have been offered money for my work, which I have never taken. So being my rebellious artistic self, I of course didn't want to do that and decided to do other things, mostly because I didn't want to be limited or defined by just one thing. I know... very artsy.

Therefore, I have painted before but NEVER while tipsy. So going to a BYOB painting class outing was very appealing. It was also a little more fun because I was on cider. When I am on cider I am super-fun! Drinking strangers' beers/flirty/dancing in the street/giggly super-fun! (yes that all happened)

The class did turn out to be a lot of fun. It was mostly filled with couples with wine. I guess it's a popular date night kinda thing. And there I am with my friend and our six pack of cider. Ha! The class started and we were instructed to paint the sky black and blue... so of course I painted the sky purple. ☺ The painting was supposed to be a black and white painting with highlights of blue and green. Straight buildings? Nah, I like mine curved! I've never payed attention to what I am supposed to do in my Art Classes growing up (being my rebellious artistic self) and so it was funny to see how that hadn't changed. Looking back I think I probably got on all my Art instructors' nerves... I could never just draw an apple when they asked me to... it had to be a pink apple with wheels, metal accents and floating in the middle of a blue cloudy sky filled with flying squirrels in the background.

Exhibit A: Tipsy Painting

Exhibit B: Non-tipsy Painting

                       

sushi making, epiphanies... 
The day after my painting class I took a sushi making class with my mom. She is a great date. She talks to everyone and makes friends with everyone she meets and is always up for a new adventure. So while making a mess with raw fish and rice I looked up at my mom and realized that I have always been crazy and adventurous and it's because of her. She is the one who I flipped on an ATC with, she is the one who I climbed pyramids with in Mexico, she let me have a pet goat and let us hatch chickens in our house, she started most of the water fights growing up, she badgered the city council with "Title 9" (when I wanted to play on an all boys baseball team) until they let me play, she took guitar lessons with me, and has given us all countless adventures and laughs... AND she is the one who tried to feed my brother to a lion, unsuccessfully unfortunately. ☺

Our childhood summed up in a picture. My mom is so cool.

... oh my!
So this is what I was still thinking about as we were leaving the sushi class and then my mom ran head-first into the front glass door of the Ra Sushi Restaurant with a very loud "thunk." She then turned to the hostess who was looking at us trying not to laugh and said "that's how I open doors," then we left laughing so hard we could hardly walk straight. Yep, I think I'm just like her, at least I hope so.

So conclusion...

1. Tipsy painting is fun!

2. I can make sushi!

3. A friend told me recently that me doing all the things that I have decided to do doesn't surprise her because my family was always doing things like that... I guess the only difference is that now I'm writing about it.

4. My mom is crazy.

SUSHI HOW TO:

How do you make a California roll? (Well at least what I learned... in 5 steps)

1. Secret is in the rice. Get sushi rice and cook it, then add rice vinegar and sugar. (vinegar cuts the fishiness of the seaweed you'll use in your roll.

2. Get out your sushi rolling mat and cover it in Seran Wrap so that it doesn't stick and have a bowl of ice water handy.

3.  Get your seaweed strip and place it horizontally on your mat and cover it loosely with about a tennis ball sized amount of rice(wet your fingers repeatedly with the ice water so rice doesn't stick... everywhere) and sprinkle sesame seeds over rice and then finally flip it over horizontally.

4. Next is time to place your fillings. Start with a small layer of avocado on the center of your prepared seaweed, then add your crab meat on top of this(mixture of crab meat and mayo), and pieces of cucumber.

5. Roll your sushi roll from the bottom up making sure you are squeezing it evenly and that the seaweed is not visible through the rice. Even out ends and press into a nice roll shape and lastly slice with a WET knife and enjoy. Easy peasy.

WHERE WAS I?
Me the Artist
... instructors were nice but soft spoken, you had to strain to hear what they were saying. Nerves. maybe? I think next time I'll try another studio.

Ra Sushi Restaraunt
... very cool place in Tempe. Good instructors, nice servers, just an excellent experience.

50 first dates... well more like 15

So last night was my Speed Dating night! It was interesting...

I went with a friend because strength in numbers and all that. When we first got there the place was full of lovely ladies and three men. We kind of looked at each other and hoped more would show up because as it was, there were slim pickings. Finally more men started coming in, late of course because they are fashionably late and cool like that, and so we got started.

It was kind of neat... like adult musical chairs. I was number 8 and the men would go to the next number until you got to the first person you started with. We had 5 minutes with each guy then a chime rings for them to leave and sometimes it went quick but then other times it felt like the longest 5 minutes of my life and I was straining... hoping to hear that chime go off. There were good guys there but the crazy ones made it fun, in a Twilight Zone/Candid Camera kind of way.

So here's the gist of the top crazies...

• The Boring Tour Guide - My first experience was with a tall good looking guy. I was hopeful because he was cute in his shyness but then I realized he kept asking me which bars I like and have been to down Mill and proceeded to tell me the history of the bars, if the bars were still there and whether he had been to the same places I had been. I tried to ask other questions but he was more comfortable talking about Mill, so I let him. Therefore for 5 minutes I got a tour of Mill Avenue without having to go there.
•  The-look-what-I-can-do! - The next guy happened to be this guy who told me his resume, which is fine I guess but I was not looking to hire an online advertising agency(which is what he does... owns actually). Plus he did it in a funny voice which reminded me of Stewart from MadTV. I kept picturing him jumping up and down saying "Look what I can do! Look what I can do!" oh geez.
• The Close-talker - After "look what I can do I was lucky with about 4 normal sweet guys and then came Mr. Close-talker. He was nice but he kept leaning in and I kept leaning back. Ugh. We were playing our own game of limbo I think.
• The Starer - And of course right After Mr. Close-talker was another odd one. They seemed to come in spurts of 3 or 4 nice ones and then two weird ones... for variety, I guess. The Starer came up to my chair and just stared down at me on the couch I was sitting on and then just when it got awkward after our first "Hello," he said "You're Jennifer," then kneeled on the couch and stared some more, until he finally sat and started talking. Then he kept staring! He'd say something kind of funny, I'd laugh and he'd stare!
• The Drunk - The 2nd to last guy was just gone. Before him were another couple of nice guys and then the last two were just... great. He sat down on my knee so it was kind of trapped so I had to wiggle out from under him. OH Geez! And then leaning back all relaxed he asked if I had gotten asked good questions... then he asked me if I take drugs, when I said no he asked if I was a cop. 
• The Snob- And now for the last guy. The Snob. He sat down asked if I had any luck and then proceeded to tell me that he thought that more educated people would have come out to the Speed Dating "event" because isn't this "Scottsdale." To which I thought "dude... you are speed dating," but just smiled and told him my resume and education background and told him about the time I met Walter Cronkite, yes he was nice, bluest eyes I'd ever seen great voice saying "hello" to me... yep he was kind of quiet after that. snob. OH GEEZ!!! When that chime rang I was so happy and had to wait until my friend finished her last date before we ran for the door.   

So conclusion...

1. If you are going to one of these things don't take it seriously, just have fun and it will be fun.

2. Liquor helps.

3. The non-native people to Arizona were some of the nicer and more normal ones... so that's funny and sad at the same time.

4. Go with a friend so that you can laugh at them when they end up with the drunk one last and you can overhear a conversation like this...

Drunk: Do you dye your hair? *sluring

Friend: Sometimes.

Drunk: Do you dye it blonde? *drowsy slurring

Friend: No, I've never dyed it blonde.

Drunk: Good. I don't like blondes.*leaning back slurring

Friend: Ok.

And silence until the chimes went off.

5. Have somewhere fun to go after to unwind from the craziness... thank goodness my friends' band was playing and I got to see them rock it out.

SPEED DATING HOW TO:

How do you Speed date? (well at least what I learned in 5 steps)

1. Sign up at a Speed dating site.

2. Make sure that the bar/restaurant is not a shady place!

3. If you are a girl get comfy. If you are a guy then don't, because the girls get to stay in one spot while the guys play musical chairs and move from girl to girl.

4. Again buy alcohol.

5. Be nice even if they are boring you to death... just do what I did, smile and nod a lot.

WHERE WAS I?
Klique Now @ The Doll House
... hostess of Klique Now wasn't very fun and the Doll House was a little seedy and although the bartender was nice, he didn't know what he was doing as it was his first night bartending.

What the heck is Krav Maga?

What the heck is Krav Maga? Well today I found out! I took a Intro to Krav Maga class.

Wikipedia says... Krav Maga /krɑːv məˈɡɑː/ (Hebrew: קרב מגע [ˈkʁav maˈɡa], lit. "contact combat") is a noncompetitive eclectic self-defense system developed in Israel that involves striking techniques, wrestling and grappling. Krav Maga is known for its focus on real-world situations and extremely efficient, brutal counter-attacks. It was derived from street-fighting skills developed by Imi Lichtenfeld, who made use of his training as a boxer and wrestler, as a means of defending the Jewish quarter against fascist groups in Bratislava in the mid-to-late 1930s. In the late-1940s, following his immigration to Israel, he began to provide lessons on combat training to what was to become the IDF, who went on to develop the system that became known as Krav Maga. It has since been refined for civilian, police and military applications.

Our instructor said that it was developed to be used effectively by many different people with different body styles. Everyone in the military is taught to use this style of fighting. And since everyone in Israel is supposed to be in the military once they are 18, pretty much everyone knows how to rumble there. He said that with this style of fighting "you don't fight fair, you fight to win," and so when they rumble they rumble dirty.

It was really interesting learning this type of self defense and very useful. He showed us how to move while fighting, how to get out of being strangled, and also how to kick and hit to end a fight quickly.

So that's what that is... so now I am cliffs-noted in it so watch out! I'll grapple your butt if you tick me off!

So conclusion...

1. Don't pick a fight with someone from Israel.

2. If you are gonna fight, fight to win.

3. Boys still cringe when a girl kicks hard below the belt even when there is a punching bag between them.

4. I'm ready if someone wants to strangle me. I know a really cool move now, it's really awesome. In fact, I'm gonna ask all my friends to try and strangle me now.

KRAV MAGA HOW TO:

How do you use Krav Maga? (well at least what I learned in 5 steps)

1. Stand with your arms in front and close to your body with your hands open to protect yourself against punches and attacks.

2. Do not hit with a closed fist. Hit with the bottom part of the palm of your hand.

3. Do not side kick or kick anywhere higher than the groin area as people can grab your foot and use it to hurt you.

4. Use knee and elbow hits to inflict a lot of damage.

5. COOL STRANGLE MOVE ALERT!!! If someone is coming at you from the front and is strangling you, do not try to break the grip by using your hands. Instead shoot your right arm straight up to trap your attacker's hand between your arm and your neck then twist quickly to yourleft breaking the grip. Then bring youarms down fast on their hands further breaking there grip and then elbow them to the face using your right elbow then grab their shoulder that is in front of you and knee them to the stomach. Very cool move! If they come from behind well I'm sorry... I don't know that move yet.

WHERE WAS I?
East Valley Krav Maga
... another petite studio but with a lot of fierceness packed into it. I will definitely be going again when I get a chance!